coming to a happy me.

Why does it matter if you are the “biggest” and the “best?” Why can’t you just be the biggest and the best you at something?

There is no reason that we compete against one another. People say that it’s for money, for survival. That’s bullshit. You can make more than enough money to live comfortably – so long as you have reasonable health – on freelancing and waitressing. On pursuing your dreams.

But from what I’ve observed, not many people care about that. They care about the newest phone. They care about having a car with no dents or scratches. They care about “status.” I’m guilty too.

Why do we care so much about this made up thing that sub-intelligent human beings dame to be “worthy?” 

These symbols of status mean little if you spend your life alone and confused because you don’t know you, let alone what really makes you happy.

I had a realization today. I am studying at Savannah College of Art and Design. It would be a total lie to say that it took a lot to get into this school. Everyone gets in to this school. The hard part is staying with it, keeping up and not failing out.

I am keeping up, and I am very proud of myself.

This quarter I started my first online course, “Business and Professional Writing” with Professor Goto. It wasn’t until I created my first online Blog post for the class, “Introduction” to my peers that I realized how wonderfully simple my dreams are, and how many of them I have.

I plan to write young adult fiction that is actually worth a damn; that actually helps develop young minds and has nothing to do with Paranormal Romance (thank you Stephenie Meyer). Not that there is anything particularly wrong with that genre if you take it for what it is. I just want to help young readers along in some way, in the way that the books that I read helped me. In the way that “The Fault in Our Stars” matters to both adults and teenagers alike.

I plan to move to Los Angeles and live out a good amount of my time doing what really makes me happy; spending time with Garrett and Lane and having lots and lots of fun. I plan to work while I’m there, writing on the side, maybe, as I waitress my way through rent, or maybe working on newspapers for sub par pay.

I plan to take jobs as they come and accept them as new experiences that will tell me if I do or don’t like something. School doesn’t stop at the end of your senior year of college.

I plan to build a tiny house with my own two hands so that I can travel around the country and always have a stable place to live whether I am making money or not. I’ve even researched the type of trailer that I want to build it on (a deck-between because with that you can have a loft, and aluminum, always aluminum).

I plan to spend many—more than not—of my days being with the people I love, spending time with them that means so much more than any degree or publishing ever could. I want a family. I want lifelong friends that I can love every day that will also love me. I want to need and be needed, to accept and be accepted, to share with, and hold confident all the things that make these people who they are. I plan to love more than any of my other plans.

Mostly, I just plan to build a life of prosperity through happiness. Come what may, come what might, come a storm or sickness, come my last days; happiness is the key objective.

I plan to come to all of these things in good time. I plan to do them before I die. However, I realize that if I don’t, if I never get to accomplish one thing on this little list of mine, if I enjoy every day that passes as it is and without needless want to control it as my own, I will be happy. I will have lived a full and content life. I could never ask for anything more.

People should ask what other people dream about. We hardly do that, but we should. We should ask every single person that we meet what it is that they dream for themselves. Otherwise we become so absorbed in this “status quo” world that High School Musical first brought to our attention (if you were in my generation at least), and totally forget that it is okay to want to do whatever it is that we want to do.

In fact, it takes 100 million times more guts to stand up and do something different for ourselves than it does to do something that is accepted. Just do what you want, that is the biggest and best thing.

Be a good, kind person to all the people that you meet because you never know where they are in their journey to find themselves. Perhaps they aren’t even looking yet. Perhaps you asking them “what are your true, real, honest dreams?” will make them realize that they haven’t even been looking for themselves but instead for the most tolerable “self” that will still make them big money.

Perhaps. You never know.

One small action can be monumental, but when we realize it it’s too late to change it or go back. So try and make every small action that you take mean something positive to someone else. That’s what really matters in this big game where nothing is certain but life and death, with death being the most certain, and the biggest and best question in life itself.